Word Munger doesn’t ask for much. A few readers for his blog, a few incisive comments. In return, he gives you fabulous prose such as this very post. But sometimes, Word Munger needs a little more appreciation. Lately, he’s begun to feel a bit self-conscious about his appearance, so what he’d really like is a makeover. Unfortunately, Dave absolutely hates mucking about with CSS, so what to do, what to do? Wouldn’t it be great if there was a Wal-Mart for blog design? Then Word Munger’s friends could cheaply and conveniently buy him the items on his list:

• A sidebar stretch. Word Munger really wants his sidebar to stretch all the way to the bottom of the page. Dave’s much too lazy to figure out how to do this.
• A nicer footer. When Dave designs a blog, he’s usually plumb tuckered out by the time he gets down to the footer. Who’s going to bother scrolling all the way down there, anyway? And if anyone’s going to figure out how to keep the footer from being hidden by the sidebar on shorter posts, it’s not going to be Dave.
• Comment disabler. Wouldn’t it be cool if comments were automatically disabled on InstaMunger posts? After all, no one ever bothers to comment on them anyway.
• Greatest hits. Word Munger loves to show off. He’d be all atwitter over a nice sidebar list of his best and brightest posts.
• Recent comments. Word Munger knows Dave knows how to do this, since he obviously took the time to add that feature to Cognitive Daily. Word Munger wants some love, too!
• Database hack. Dave foolishly misplaced Word Munger’s original admin password, so there are a few posts and links he can’t edit. Apparently the only way to fix the problem is to hack into the database. Obviously Dave can’t be troubled with a task as challenging as this.
• More power. How about a new battery for Dave’s iBook? When the computer was new, the battery lasted nearly five hours. Now it’s lucky to last two. How many more Word Munger posts could Dave have written, but for the want of a little more wattage?