I don’t know what’s more ironic: the idea that a “militant group” thought anyone would be fooled by this or the fact that many people apparently were.

So-called U.S. hostage appears to be toy

That is all.

Davidson was all atwitter yesterday because a Famous Person was visiting. This person was so Famous that he was rumored to be on the Nobel short list. The English Department was dressed up in its finest, each member beaming and carrying his or her Favorite Book so as to look Important enough to be seen with the Famous Person. Everyone beamed and greeted the Famous Person kindly whenever he walked by so he would know how Proud we were that he was visiting our little town. And the Famous Person did not disappoint. He gave an Important Lecture that packed the biggest hall in our college, and even filled the overflow room where folks unfortunate enough not to have gotten a ticket watched on closed-circuit video. Lucky visitors to the lecture were given a free bookmark with a color photo of the Famous Person next to the logo of our college, very tastefully designed, of course — it was even laminated!

In case you’re wondering, the Famous Person was Salman Rushdie. I should say that I like Salman Rushdie, though I haven’t read all of his most Important Works. I did read Haroun and the Sea of Stories and I found it excellent. I also bought The Satanic Verses shortly after the fatwa was pronounced on Rushdie in 1989. I bought it mainly for the thrill of possessing a Banned and Dangerous Book — but I never did manage to read it.

Rushdie gave a very entertaining talk about how he first became a writer, covering those struggling early years when all his friends seemed to be more successful than he was, filled with anecdotes about his poor early efforts and the breakthrough that led to his first smashing success, Midnight’s Children. He railed hilariously against Dan Brown and The Da Vinci Code and we all chuckled knowingly, though of course most of us had read it.

The most surreal moment was after the lecture, when my wife and I were rushing outside to beat the crowds to the parking lot. Rushdie and the College President were walking around the back of the lecture hall, in order to get to the reception area without going through the crowded auditorium. I was within three feet of a Famous Person! Well, I knew I wasn’t going to be a fawning idiot and try to engage the man in conversation, so I choked out a meek “thank you” and hustled off into the darkness.

That is what happens when a Famous Person comes to town.