Proof that I am an uncultured slob

I admit it.

I read my local newspaper, the Charlotte Observer. Even worse, I read the Observer’s generic Sunday magazine, Parade. For those of you from the cultural uberclass who refuse to read a newspaper that has a comics section, let me elucidate for you. Parade is what might happen if you fired the entire editorial staff of the New York Times Magazine and replaced them them with the staff of a randomly selected local high school yearbook.

Take this week, for example. We have someone’s senior World Civ report on Mesopotamia masquerading as an article on the cultural marvels of Iraq. Favorite photo caption, next to a picture of Ishtar Gate, Babylon: “actual ruins like this one have enormous power.”

Then there’s the advice column written by Marilyn vos Savant, the “smartest person in the world.” The dilemma of the day: how could America be so great when TV “judge” shows are so stupid? Answer: Because truly brilliant people like Marilyn are serving the nation by writing cheesy advice columns (I may be paraphrasing a bit here).

I did learn something from this week’s issue that I’ll take to the bank: There’s a new film coming out this summer profiling the life and times of Cole Porter. Hadn’t heard that yet, but apparently it’s true. Here’s the kicker: It’s being billed as a romance between Porter (played by Kevin Kline) and his wife Linda (played by Ashley Judd). Won’t most Americans be tickled pink when they find out this “romance” was a sham to conceal Porter’s gay lifestyle?

That said, I have to say that this week’s Parade is definitely the most entertaining read I’ve had in a while. After today’s comics page, that is.

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