(Not) Cheering for the Hurricane

As Hurricane Frances bears down on the Florida coast, I have to stifle the urge to cheer it on. The New York Times is reporting that if Frances continues on its current course, Charlie and Frances will be “the first time since 1950 that two major storms — defined as ones with wind of at least 111 mph — have hit Florida so close together.” Woohoo! A record!

No, David! Bad David! Hurricanes are bad! We don’t want the hurricane to destroy Florida. Grandma lives in Florida.

But Frances is now the size of Texas! It could bring a storm surge of 10 to 14 feet! Its winds are down to 120 miles per hour, which is a bit of a disappointment, but there’s still a chance they will pick up again before it hits the mainland. And according to the New York Times, even Jeb Bush wants to see it get bigger:

“I hope people don’t take comfort in the fact that” Frances has weakened, Gov. Jeb Bush said Friday. “The storm is very unpredictable. … We still don’t know exactly where landfall will be.”

Yeah, dude! This thing could be absolutely ferocious before it hits land. Gnarly!

No, David! Bad David. Hurricanes are bad. We don’t want the Hurricane to destroy Florida. What if the hurricane came and knocked down your house? You wouldn’t think it was so cool then, would you?

Ummm… I guess not. But it’s still interesting to track its progress. Serious hurricane watchers don’t mess with Weather.com. They go to the source: the National Weather Service. Not only does it have those nifty hurricane-path projection charts, but the site also includes a handy dandy wind speed forecast, which indicates that within the next 36 hours, this baby has a 15 percent chance of getting back up to a category 4 or even cat 5! Look out Orlando, Frances is headed for a smackdown!

No, David! Bad David! We don’t want the hurricane to destroy Florida. And I hate to burst your bubble, but according to that chart, chances are actually better that the hurricane will weaken — it has a 30 percent chance of weakening to a cat 1 before landfall. It might even slow down and head back out to sea, without any damage to the mainland.

Awww. What a disappointment.

David –

I mean, what a relief! I was getting sick of all this hurricane hype anyway.

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