Mephitic is a blog that defies description. Just check it out. For your reading pleasure, I will attempt to duplicate this guy’s writing style, but apply it to my life.
My feet are cold but my underarms are sweaty. Damn air conditioning. I have half a mind to call the manufacturer and complain. Why can’t an air conditioner cool the whole house to the same temperature all at once?
Now the kids are slamming doors again. If there’s one thing I hate, it’s kids slamming doors. Okay, I’ve had enough. I’m going to go upstairs and beat some sense into them. But now it’s stopped. Never mind. My feet are still cold.
Now my daughter is coming downstairs. She’s going to tell me there’s nothing to do. What do I care if there’s nothing to do? Isn’t that her problem? I can’t wait for school to start.
Now the kids are nagging me about dinner. Bought some very nice looking WILD ALASKAN SALMON at the Harris Teeter today. Dinner will be very good indeed. Especially with a nice glass of merlot.
People you see at the Harris Teeter: ditzy blondes in spaghetti-strapped t-shirts and flip-flops. Fat old ladies and their yip-yapping poodles. Sweaty joggers buying low-carb snacks.
Why are there always cigarette butts on the street here? It’s not like we’re living in Koreatown. We’re in a dull southern suburb. Where do they all come from? The only people you ever see on our street are the next door neighbors and people walking their dogs. Do the neighbors dump their butts out in the street? Could the meter reader and the paper boy really smoke that much?
You get the idea — tons of fun. And Mephitic lives in a much more interesting neighborhood than I do.